Life is so much better after having sex.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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