Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
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No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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