Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize