the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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