I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize