Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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