I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize