i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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