How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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