Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
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WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
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We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
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