He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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