Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize