i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize