Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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