I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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