I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
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Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
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Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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