Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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