drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
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I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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