my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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