someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize