i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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