You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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