No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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