butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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