so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
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Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
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You're a waste of cheezeits
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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