are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize