Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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