Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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