guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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