piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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