I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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