cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize