Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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