I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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