You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
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I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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