We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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