i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize