It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize