please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize