you thought your balls were fighting each other...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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