Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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