he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize