If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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