Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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