i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm really busy with my period
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