Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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