The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
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The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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