porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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