i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
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Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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