Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize