I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
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i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
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I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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